COPING WITH KIDS &
STRESS
COPING WITH KIDS &
STRESS
Housework, diapers, job, whining, discipline, financial worries, laundry, sibling rivalry, cooking, dishes, kid's taxi service…Sound familiar? If it does, you are like most parents--under stress!
As stress builds, so dies our anger..A child's behavior may seem like the last straw. It's easy for parents to lose control and strike out at their kids. At this point, physical and verbal abuse can occur when the parent is attempting to punish a child. Parents often say, "I didn't mean to hurt him. I only wanted to teach him a lesson." But hitting doesn't teach good things. It teaches children how to be violent and out of control It causes pain, anger and even injury. Belittling or calling a child names doesn't teach good things either. It teaches the child to feel shameful and alienated, and leaves the child with low self esteem. If you cause injury or leave red marks or bruise on your child, you are breaking the law.
Never use any object to hit a child. No boards, belts, sticks or switches.
Never hit or slap a child's face or head.
We urge you to use other more effective forms of discipline than spanking.
So what can you do? Here are some ideas that can help you cope:
Focus on the positive, especially with children. A formula to remember: FOR EVERY TIME YOU MUST CORRECT YOUR CHILD, FIND TWO OTHER TIMES WHERE YOU CAN MAKE POSITIVE, ENCOURAGING REMARKS TO HIM/HER.
Arrange child care or trade watching each other's children with a friend so that you can get regular time to yourself. Children require your energy. Recharge your batteries so you won't find yourself empty with nothing left to give.
Depending on circumstances in both your life and your children's, and depending on your child's age and capabilities, set REALISTIC expectations for both of you.
Be consistent with your children. This makes for a more secure feeling which reduces stress.
Anger can make you want to hit or yell. Take a walk if you can, take a deep breath (you can!), count to 100, devise a plan for when you reach the boiling point (i.e., promise to call a trusted friend).
Talk to other parents who have similar experiences and find out what they do to solve their family difficulties.
If you are afraid you are going to hurt your children, get help now! Call someone you know will help you or call Second Chance, Inc. at (510) 792-4357.